Stephanie’s Solace

I had my pre-op appointment yesterday and I know that the doctor has to tell the patient everything that could happen but I wish they didn’t.  I guess this is where my faith is tested.  There is a possibility that the operation next week, if it doesn’t go as planned and I don’t stop bleeding, could end all possibility of ever bearing children.  This was kind of hard for me to hear.  But I know that God is a good and He has plans for my life to prosper me and not to harm me.  This experience has brought a lot of the Bible alive for me.  I can only imagine what the barren women must have felt and the woman who had been bleeding for twelve years and fought through the crowd to touch the edge of Jesus’ cloak.  Being anemic for the last couple of months has just drained me.  I couldn’t imagine it for twelve years!  It must have taken everything she had to fight the crowd and reach out to touch Jesus and have Him heal her.  What persistence and huge faith!

I just went through a mentoring class and one of the things that I took away from the class was asking the question, “I wonder what God is up to” or “I wonder what God it doing/going to do in this circumstance”.  I have been asking these questions often of my circumstances.  He is God and I am not and I need to get my head and heart to agree that no matter what God has planned for my life, it will be nothing that I can’t handle with His love and help.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me.

I better stop now because I think I’m rambling now.

I would covet any prayers next week.  Surgery is Tuesday, October 23 at 1 PM.